Olga Lucia, Family Friend

Remembering Caela

Hi, my name is Olga Lucia. My connection to the Farmer family is that Mari-Carmen and I have been friends for over 14 years now. I have to admit that I was surprised when Mari-Carmen and Tatum asked me to say a few words today, but I felt incredibly honored.

Caela and I had something in common – we both had serious neurological and medical conditions that required round-the-clock attention and care. Unlike Caela’s neurological condition, I suffered a traumatic brain injury (Mari, FYI, “TBI”) in August of 2000. The doctors’ predicted that I would die the day I went into the coma, but clearly, they were wrong. Currently, I am still in therapy and recovering from the brain injury. I share this information w/you b/c I hope that you’ll be able to see how Caela helped me save myself from my own self-pity and self-loathing.

Once my memory started coming back after the TBI, that was around February of 2001, I couldn’t find a reason to fight to stay alive. I kept wrestling with the same question over and over again, “why – why did this happen?” Now, I want to be clear, I’m NOT saying, “why did this happen to me instead of somebody else? – no, my question was simply “why – why did this have to happen at all?”

Then in April of 2001, Caela was born. Although I was only 7 months post my brain injury, I was able to understand that Mari-Carmen had given birth to a gorgeous baby girl and that baby girl was very, very ill. The doctors soon discovered that Caela had numerous and serious neurological and medical problems and that her chances of survival were dim. Caela paid no attention to the doctors, and she just kept on fighting, she wouldn’t give up on life. She defied the doctors’ predictions. As her health presented new complications, Caela found the inner-strength to withstand the pain of all the poking and prodding the doctors and nurses did on her little body, she found the inner-strength to put up w/the side effects of all the medications she was given, she found the inner-strength to put up w/all the medical tests, surgical procedures, and all the therapies and special care she required.

The more I learned about Caela, the more I felt a kinship b/w Caela and myself. What was making me gravitate towards Caela was HOW Caela was dealing w/her very serious and multiple medical conditions. Like Caela, I spent most of my time in the hospital, BUT unlike Caela, when I was discharged, I let myself loath in self-pity. I wished that I would just die – I wanted all the medical problems, procedures, tests, and the pain to stop. I was being a coward. During this time, I kept in touch w/Mari-Carmen, and I learned more and more about Caela. Somehow Caela was managing all her complicated medical problems like a champ, she withstood painful tests and procedures, and she just kept on living, and yet I was still stuck in “why did this happen?”

In the months following Caela’s birth and the many months she spent in the hospital, I kept thinking about that question – “why was Caela born so ill” “why did I suffer a brain injury?” but I couldn’t find an answer. Then I had the opportunity to meet Caela. I sat next to her chair, I put my hand in her hand, she grabbed onto my index finger, and she held onto it really tight; our eyes locked, and we just kept staring at each for almost an hour. Despite the noise and the people around us, we blocked everything out, and our eyes just connected. It seemed as if our brains were talking to each other, but what I felt, was her soul telling my soul that I just had to accept what happened, that we both had beaten medical odds, and that we had a purpose to fulfill while we were here on this earth. I cried during that hour, and Caela’s eyes let me know that it was ok to cry, but that it was NOT ok to give up. In that first encounter, Caela became my hero, and she will always be my hero.

With Caela’s help, I think I’ve finally answered the “why” question. When a crisis or a tragedy happens in our lives, I believe that 1 of 2 things is going to happen – 
1) Either we are going to be blessed 
Or
2) We are going to give a blessing, and maybe, both are going to happen simultaneously. 

Caela, you blessed me by teaching me to love life again, by teaching me to never give up b/c we, you and me, are not quitters, you showed me that God has blessed me in so many ways, that I have so many things to be grateful for, and that maybe I too can help somebody else see that no matter how sick you are, life is a blessing that God has given us, and we must appreciate it as such.

Thank you Caela for blessing me. In your short life, you taught me more about survival and about being grateful for being alive than I’ve learned in my entire life.

Que Dios te Bendiga, Caela.
Thank you.